Today, I went to the gym. It was a good visit, fifteen minutes on the bike and fifteen on the treadmill. At any rate, I walked out of the gym coughing, which I always count as a success, never mind what I’m coughing up in the first place.
Now I’m thinking about my mental health in 2019. Don’t get me wrong–I’m not trying to sound ominous. Really, I just mean my overall sense of well-being, which, if I’m honest, varies from day to day. Some days I feel positive and optimistic, while others I get a little down and pessimistic.
Part of this, I think, comes from my childhood and me never really learning to deal effectively with disappointment. As a result, my first response is to be a doomsayer when something goes wrong. Later, I can look back and see things were never as bad as I thought they’d be, but in the moment it’s like a meteor is headed for Earth, and I’m in the crosshairs.
Why do I do this? The main reason is it’s what I’ve always done. That doesn’t make it right, but it does make it understandable. The action, I mean, not the underlying attitude.